In 2019, I started the annual practice of making myself a promise as opposed to a resolution. As each year progressed, it was satisfying to check in with myself and see how it was going. As years do, each one provided several lessons, and they’d fall in line with my promise. I was reminded that there are no accidents in life. And I vowed to keep this practice going year after year.

My Past Promises

In 2019, I promised to practice acceptance and create boundaries. In that year, I separated from my then-spouse and began the agonizing process of divorce. I was tested in many ways but remembering to accept what was going on and create boundaries was extremely helpful. That year I also started seeing a therapist and faced some harsh realities. But … you guessed it … boundaries and acceptance played a crucial role in processing them.

In 2020, I promised to focus on myself. As a new homeowner, the mother-of-two, a full-time-working woman with two dogs, five chickens, and a tarantula during a pandemic, it was difficult to find time for myself. The divorce was still dragging on – as divorces do. And I wanted to focus on personal growth. I also began to carve out time for long baths. Once the kids were asleep and the chores were done, I’d plunge into a hot bath and give myself time. I also began my meditation practice as well as a weekly yoga practice.  

In 2021, I promised to practice inherent trust. The divorce had ended in the third quarter of 2020. I was still gainfully employed after a year of instability. And I’d kept our home afloat during a pandemic. Yet I still thought I’d gotten so much wrong in my life. With all the mistakes I’d made, I didn’t think I could trust my heart or my mind. So, I proved that inner voice wrong. By focusing on the good decisions I was clearly capable of making, I made more.

Drumroll Please

Without further ado, I’m going to share my promise for this year. I promise to be discerning with my time. I want to limit my distractions and focus on things that bring me joy. There are times when I’m staring at my phone instead of being present with my kids. There are also times I scroll through social media when I could be more productive. This year, I want to learn to have better judgement when it comes to my time. Oliver Burkeman wrote a book called Four Thousand Weeks – which is approximately the average human life span. I’m already at 1,942 weeks. To quote Oliver from that book, “What you pay attention to will define, for you, what reality is.”

And I’m ready to take control of my reality.