Euphemism Busters

JoAnna Bennett

JoAnna Bennett, O’Brien Communications Group

13 September 2018

Is any part of your company embarrassing you? Is it downright unpleasant? Are you trying to sell a product that hasn’t been developed? Or do you have the operative product, but you’re terrible at implementing it? Or has your company gotten so big that each decision has become monumental, requiring several layers of approvals and often avoided for the cumbersome nature of it all?

Some days we report to work like tradesmen. We face our regular challenges, with our repertoire of tools. I know you can picture it now: Mark and I sitting behind our computers wearing our navy blue shop shirts, the OCG logo stitched into one side, our names on the other. You need a press release? Sure, we got that. Oh, it’s a managed blog series paired with a corresponding email and social media campaign you’re after? We can take care of those too!

Other days we put on a different costume: The Euphemism Busters. This uniform requires a mask and a cape. We’ll be approached by Mystery Man, a shady-looking guy, wearing a long trench coat and looking around warily as if he’s trying to sell fake designer shades one step ahead of the cops. He’ll lure us with a knowing smile, the promise of a budget, and just enough mystery to keep us mesmerized. Then, WHAM!

Mystery Man: Can you create and manage our brand?
Euphemism Busters: Sure! What can you tell us about your product?
Mystery Man: It’s great! Cutting edge. It’s a true turnkey solution.
Euphemism Busters: Can we have a demo?
Mystery Man: We’d prefer to show you our sales PPT deck.

Come to find out, Mystery Man, doesn’t have a product. He and his company have an idea. But they’d have to implement it somewhere first to see if it even works. Try to sell that to your first prospect. So here we go again, looking for the perfect shade of lipstick for this succulent swine.

We don’t face those types of challenges every day. Those moments are few and far between, but they certainly get our adrenaline pumping. And you need that every once in a while.

You know how the lyrics go, “If there’s something strange and it don’t look good, who ya gonna call? The Euphemism Busters.”