I read/listened to a blog post from Melissa Hughes, Ph. D. yesterday titled, Are You Biased? Is the Wrong Question. In this post she suggests, “The question is not, are you biased? The question is, how are you biased?” And I can’t seem to get the notion out of my head. Whether it comes to politics, social justice, supreme court law, or a defamation trial, we all have our opinions. Our personal experiences and previous decisions will decide for us what we think before we’ve even heard a full story. And this goes for everyone, including lawyers, judges, co-workers, family members, you, and me.

Am I Biased?

Yes. Yes, I am. I know this because I’m human. I’m flawed. I make mistakes. And I’ll never claim to know everything or to be perfect. I don’t expect anyone in my circle to be either. In fact, the moment someone claims to be all-knowing, is the moment I begin to disbelieve them. The only way we become more intelligent is to be more open to learning from others. In my most pivotal life moment, I learned there was a different way to live because I gave up the way I’d been living and asked for help. The life I was living before that day was fear-based, insecurely attached, and rampant with unconscious bias. With the help of others – many others – I was able to stand up again and learn a better way.

We Grow Together

In isolation, we suffer. When we don’t attune to others and learn from them, we lean too strongly on our unconscious biases for survival. When we don’t commit to learning about ourselves and why we react as we do, we don’t grow. But the opposite is also true. If we learn to securely attach with others, we begin to trust ourselves and those around us. When we admit to not being perfect and try to learn why we behave the way we do, we grow.

Hi, I’m JoAnna Bennett. I’m biased. I jump to conclusions. And I hope to learn more about my life and the reasons behind my strong opinions. Sometimes, I’ll be right. Other times, I’ll be wrong. And I’m okay with all the above.

I want to commit to learning more. I want to commit to bettering myself, by learning about myself, year in and year out.

I’m 37. With any luck, I have a long way to go. And I can’t wait to see what the rest of my life has in store.