If you’ll forgive the redundancy, there are a million books in print about how to become a millionaire. You can easily find The Millionaire Next Door, The Millionaire Fastlane, Millionaire Mindset, The Mindful Millionaire, Millionaire Success Habits, and How to Make a Million Without Ever Taking Your Sweater Off by Fred Rogers. But the one thing all those books lack is imagination. That’s right. It’s actually much easier than that to get stinking rich. Here’s all you have to do:
Start a business. Name it anything you want to. Go online and make a logo for nothing with any number of web-based apps that will let you do exactly that. Go to www.wix.com, www.weebly.com, www.squarespace.com, www.wordpress.com, or anywhere else you want to go and slap up the crudest website you can slap up in the least amount of time. Then write this on your About page:
We develop impactful infrastructures that capitalize on e-business infomediaries, leverage plug-and-play applications, and exploit cross-media networks to enable our clients to grow strategic markets by implementing omnichannel solutions that integrate web readiness with seamless supply chains, enable frictionless e-commerce, exponentially expand their ecosystems, and provide 24/7 metrics and real-time KPIs.
Then you can just sit back, put your feet up, and take the rest of your life off. Here’s why:
Being There
After your site has attracted the merest modicum of traffic, three things will happen:
- No one will have the vaguest idea in the world what the hell your About page says or what the gibberish on it might mean.
- No one who reads that gibberish will trust himself to believe it means absolutely nothing.
- One of the people or companies that see your site, have no idea what it means, but think it must be brilliant and world-beating will throw a ton of money at you to buy it.
I know what you’re thinking: “Geez, O’Brien. That’s kind of cynical isn’t it? You’re wearing your sarcasm on your sleeve, aren’t you, dude?”
No. I’ve seen worse. And I’ve seen companies that promulgate more pernicious palaver than that generate millions in private equity and/or be acquired by larger companies that thought they were buying market share, credibility, brand equity, all of the above, and more.
If you don’t think any of that is possible, watch this.
The popcorn’s on me.