After our last mailbag, the deluge of correspondence we received filled all 314 floors of our building, from the the cheap linoleum tiles underfoot to the cheap acoustic tiles overhead. Our ability to respond to all those letters was hindered by the Fire Marshall, who insisted all that paper constituted a fire hazard. We thought he was just being a crybaby until Delwood Skivortski from Accounting decided to show off the flint he found while hiking with his dog, Moose, struck the flint against the exposed support beam next to his desk, and ignited a minor conflagration.

Then the sprinkler system came on, leaving us with 314 floors of sopped paper to clean up. To add insult to injury, of course, the Fire Marshall said, “I told you so.” (Don’t you just hate people like that?) At any rate, we’re all cleaned up now (although, the Department of Public Works is a tad miffed at all the soggy paper we dumped out the windows) and eager to get back to you, our loyal correspondents. So, here we go.

Dear Mailbag,

The consulting company at which I work isn’t making its aggressive revenue targets. Its brand is virtually unknown. It has a website with a lot of gated content on it, the links to which no one ever clicks (so much for downloads), and it has no marketing program to speak of. Revenues are way down. My boss, who doesn’t like to read, says we should start using videos and infographics for our marketing communication because people don’t like to read. I recently recommended that our company, which also wants to get into the business of selling multi-million-dollar enterprise software systems, invest in marketing-automation/inbound-marketing software to drive traffic to our website. At the same time, I suggested we invest in transactional software for our site to allow prospects to purchase our systems online, once the marketing-automation/inbound-marketing software drove them there. Nothing happened. What went wrong?

Worried in Nebraska

Dear WIN, we apologize for answering your question with a question, but we have to ask: Do your or your boss still put teeth under your pillows?

Dear Mailbag,

My consulting and managed-technical-services company ran a 12-month advertising program in one of the trade publications that serves our industry. The program was so successful in positioning the company and raising awareness of the brand that we generated more than 500 registrants for the webinar we conducted at the conclusion of the ad program. After the webinar, we decided to suspend the ad campaign in favor of Google AdWords and to run banner ads on the CBS News web feed, Spotify, The Ashley’s Reality Roundup, and other relevant sites. Do you think that was the right move?

Conflicted Executive Officer

Dear CEO, we’re waiting for the punchline.

Dear Mailbag,

I’ve created a product I’m absolutely certain the world can’t live without. I blew the inheritance I got from my dead Uncle Louie to manufacture a warehouse full of these bad boys. (Because I have an NDA with myself, I can’t tell you what the product is.) I have no business experience. I have no brand awareness. I have no marketing program. I have no distribution channels. I have no corporate strategy. Do you think I’ll be successful?

Determined Optimistic Adventurer

Dear DOA, have you ever tried to build a skyscraper from the lightning rod down?


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