Every once in a while, I like to challenge myself to do something I might not otherwise consider doing. After all, I spend the lion’s share of the lion’s share of my days writing. Aside from putting me in perilous proximity to an alarming number of lions — and despite the fact that I love writing passionately — a change of pace is good for the soul … or some other, equally lame platitude.
So, I decided to create a TCOE. As soon as I made the decision, the problems began. Out of the gate, I couldn’t decide what it should be. These were my top 10 options:
- Tulare County Office of Education
- Testing Center of Excellence
- Trust for Community Outreach and Education
- Total Cost of Employment
- Telecom Centres of Excellence
- Technical Community of Excellence
- Training Centers of Excellence
- Take Charge of Education
- Tagliateli College of Engineering
- Tancredi Composer’s Operatic Embarrassment (aka Rossini’s Lament).
Suffering from a wicked case of Option Anxiety, I was getting ready to re-think the wisdom of this particular diversion when I remembered my big sister’s admonition: “No guts, no air medals.” Feeling reassured and resolute, I picked #2 and plunged headlong into creating a testing center of excellence. (Please note: The abbreviation of this term can be rendered as TCOE or as TCoE, which is another potential source of Option Anxiety. I chose not to dwell on it.)
Thinking the first decision would make subsequent decisions easier, I forged on to the next step: determining what to test. Given the possibility that I was biting off more than I could chew, I decided to start small.
Since Albert Einstein established the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers — demonstrating the speed of light in a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which an observer travels — I determined to test the speed at which I get out of bed in the morning, relative to my cat, Sammy, who’s typically a decidedly non-accelerating observer.
The test would have been a smashing success were it not for the fact that, as soon as I budged, Sammy assumed I was going to feed him. Accordingly, he bolted down to the kitchen before I could peel my carcass off the sheets.
Since my testing center, therefore, fell far short of excellence (thanks to Sammy), I’m pretty sure my next foray into TCOE will be #10, Rossini’s Lament. Opera seems like a safer bet that than the variables involved in the Theory of General Relativity and a cat.
The good news, however, is that — in a development of providential serendipity — I gave up on the idea of creating a testing center of excellence before even coming close to contending with Shadow IT.
Image by geralt, courtesy of pixabay.com.