The Migratory Habits of Scammers

by | Oct 21, 2020

I normally wouldn’t copy and paste an email in its entirety. But this one, which I received on October 16, 2020, warrants the sharing of every word. Please forgive me:

Very good afternoon From Mr. Ibrahim Guido Stella Roberto
Address: Aldo De Luca Via Cardano 20042, Lombardy, Italy
Phone No: +39 351 239 4926   Whatsapp No: +39 351 239 4926
I wish to start by asking about your health status which is of tremendous importance to all your family and friends. Also, I will not omit to ask about the dreaded COVID-19 which has been tormenting the world today. Hope you are keeping safe because the pandemic is for real. God’s protections will never elude us all I pray while we do our possible best in order to avoid it.
Hope you are applying precautionary measures over-this deadly Corona Virus Pandemic. I am yet to receive your response prior to my message dated 11/10/2020?
How are you doing? Do you still have an account at www.linkedin.com? I sent a message to you 2 times without any response via your account at www.linkedin.com? I decided to contact you directly through your email account so I can share further details with you based on my previous message regarding the capital project in your city?
Are you still operating on this email Id so I can share further details with you based on my previous message regarding the capital project in your city?
I have an interest in investing in your company, into a Joint Venture/Partnership. I have available funds meant for projects.
I am contacting you with regard to your professional knowledge and experience in project/Business.
Secondly, I want to ascertain if you have any knowledge of a Gold product or if you have any potential company or individuals who purchase gold products which price is negotiable and affordable.
Quantity of product:
Gold Bar 1000kg available.
24 Carat Gold :
Purity 99.9%
Mr. Ibrahim Guido Stella Roberto
Address: Aldo De Luca Via Vardano 20042, Lombardy, Italy
Can I have your phone number and WhatsApp number for easy communication?
Add me on Whatsapp No for easy communication: +39 351 239 4926

This, of course, was of great concern to me, particularly because I didn’t know any company or individuals interested in purchasing gold products. The situation clearly warranted a more extensive exploration than I could conduct on my own.

Dig Deep

Since I occasionally dabble in cyber security, I contacted some acquaintances at DWEEB (Dark Web Enigmatic Explorers Bureau) and asked them to conduct an investigation. What they discovered made me feel foolish for not having seen the obvious for myself. That’s right. Mr. Ibrahim Guido Stella Roberto was none other than the legendary, infamous, shrewd, and tirelessly persistent Nigerian Prince. You know. He’s the guy who wants to send you the $500-million fortune his Uncle Abayomrunkoje left unclaimed when he died. All you have to do is send him $5 million for shipping and handling, and it’s all yours.

DWEEB was able to discern that the Nigerian Prince had migrated to Italy in an attempt to cloak his nefarious skullduggery. But like criminals of every stripe, he repeated patterns that made him readily identifiable to DWEEB.

Here’s a digest of the DWEEB report, itemizing the key giveaways:

  1. The Prince always uses four names, the third of which is always female. The Nigerian Prince is, in fact, one Adebiyi Igbinedion Adaego Babangida. Like Stella in his newly adopted Italian moniker, which means star in Italian, Adaego is a Nigerian female name meaning, daughter of wealth.
  2. He suffers from a condition called chronological dyslexia, which leaves him perpetually disoriented in time. That explains why he wrote on October 16, “I am yet to receive your response prior to my message dated 11/10/2020?”
  3. He’s functionally illiterate in English, including grammar, syntax, mechanics, verb tenses, and punctuation. That explains why he wrote on October 16, “I am yet to receive your response prior to my message dated 11/10/2020?”
  4. He always says this: “I have an interest in investing in your company, into a Joint Venture/Partnership. I have available funds meant for projects.” That’s called Dangling the Carrot. And it means he believes you’re as dumb as he thinks you are.
  5. He’s functionally illiterate in English, including grammar, syntax, mechanics, verb tenses, and punctuation. That explains why he wrote “I have an interest in investing in your company, into a Joint Venture/Partnership. I have available funds meant for projects.”
  6. He always says this, too: “I am contacting you with regard to your professional knowledge and experience in project/Business.” That means one of two things: (1) He has no professional knowledge and experience in project/Business. He just wants your money. (2) He’s an engineer, hoping the phrases professional knowledge and experience in project/Business will convince you he knows anything about anything other than wanting your money.
  7. He’s functionally illiterate in English, including grammar, syntax, mechanics, verb tenses, and punctuation. That explains why he wrote, “I am contacting you with regard to your professional knowledge and experience in project/Business.”
  8. He doesn’t care if companies or individuals are real or not. That explains why he wrote, “I want to ascertain if you have any knowledge of a Gold product or if you have any potential [emphasis mine] company or individuals who purchase gold products which price is negotiable and affordable.” Maybe I’m not cut out to become a successful scammer. I don’t know. But I do know if I were trying to scam a company or individuals, I’d prefer them to be a little more real than potential.
  9. He’s functionally illiterate in English, including grammar, syntax, mechanics, verb tenses, and punctuation. That explains why he wrote, “I want to ascertain if you have any knowledge of a Gold product or if you have any potential company or individuals who purchase gold products which price is negotiable and affordable.”
  10. He did get the correct country code for Italy: +39. But when you call, you get Zia Angelina’s Frozen Pizza Company. The bad news is, Zia Angelina doesn’t have anything to do with gold products which price is negotiable and affordable. The good news is she’ll ship you a large pie with everything on it — packed in dry ice to keep it frozen — for $22.9 (plus $5 million for shipping and handling).

If you think you’re the potential target of a scamming scheme — or if you’re the actual target of a scamming scheme — call 1-800-GO-DWEEB.

If you don’t know the difference, it’s already too late.

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Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay.