In yet another manifestation of the universal truth that one man’s crisis is another man’s blessing, I humbly offer this: “McDonald’s all-day breakfast is causing a crisis in the fast-food world“.

Crisis? Aside from the fact that Jack In the Box, Dunkin’ Donuts, and Bojangles have gotten dinged, this is a boon to humanity … or to me, at least. Here’s why:

Some years ago, we had occasion do dine at Cafe Allegre in Madison, Connecticut, on a Friday evening. The waiter was a courtly, older gentleman. He approached our table, bowed courteously, and asked if we might care for a drink before dinner. I ordered a Stoli martini, dry and up, with olives. The gentleman bowed again, excused himself, and padded off to place our drink orders.

When he returned, he bowed yet again, which was, by then, clearly his wont, and lifted my martini from his serving tray. As he placed it gently on the table — with a hand steady enough to make nary a ripple on the surface of the smooth, clear, cold vodka — he said, “There you are, Sir. The breakfast of champions.”

Under any other circumstance, I would have laughed out loud. On that occasion, however, I could only smile admiringly and lift my glass to such a remarkably witty and accomplished man.

So, duly charmed and knowing I had no obligations the following day, I let the gentlemen serve me several of those clear-liquid refreshments. When we left the establishment, I wasn’t exactly snockered. But I had no trouble whatever falling asleep that night. Neither did I have any trouble sleeping in the next morning.

But I awoke in a panic, fearful that, for the first time in my life, I’d failed to get up before breakfast. Then I remembered all-day breakfast at McDonald’s and worried no more … ever.

Thanks to Mickey D’s, I’m now up before breakfast, no matter what time I roll out of the sack. That may be a lot of things, but it’s not a crisis by a long shot.

Bring on the breakfasts of champions.

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