Because I’m nothing if not fair, balanced, and inclusive, I recognized my duty immediately when I read “The 19 hottest female-founded startups of 2015“. So, without further ado, here are your 10 hottest male-founded startups of 2015:

  1. The Beer Sling. Adapted from the popular baby sling, the Beer Sling features an impermeable, insulated membrane below baby’s bottom to keep a six pack cold and  … uh … sanitary.
  2. The Beer Belt: The speed of this segmented conveyor belt can be programmed to deliver the next cold beer at each individual’s speed of consumption and to carry the empty off to the recycling bin.
  3. The Bladder Nullifier. By eliminating the pull of gravity, this recliner enables users to go hours — sometimes days — without the inconvenience of micturition.
  4. Mattress Mayhem. For the wearer, this helmet produces the illusion of participating in the contact sport of his choosing, without ever getting out of bed.
  5. Bubba ‘Cliners. For cruising the sites at the local campground or just rolling to the fridge without having to move your lard ass, these bad boys get you where you want to go without your having to do anything you don’t want to do — anything.
  6. Tubby Tubes. Fantasize about being a pro at whatever sport you choose with this handy device that lets you daydream to your heart’s content while you work, uninterrupted, on your beer gut.
  7. The Esophogator. Inserting this thing takes some getting used to, depending on the sensitivity of your gag reflex. But once that bit of nastiness is out of the way, you can consume beer through your snoot at the same time you’re stuffing your yap full of comestibles.
  8. The Shoot a Brew Cooler. Some things just have to be seen to be believed.
  9. The Bigfoot. This one comes with a bonus — a woman to show you how to drink like a man.
  10. The Marriage Saver. ‘Nuff said.

Okay. So the guys came up nine short this year. That’s why God invented next year … and testosterone.

Image by Ryan McGuire, courtesy of