Apparently presuming we’ve never been gainfully employed before now, the ink may not yet have dried on our birth certificates, or we still might be a tad disoriented from our tumble off the turnip truck, Recruitment Grapevine saw fit to contribute to the deterioration of our savvy, our maturity, our self-reliance, and our powers of cognition by posting this: “10 reasons a candidate should walk away from a job offer“. And presuming we’re the dim-witted nincompoops for which the piece was written, it’s magnanimous enough to tell us this, as if we didn’t have sense enough of our independent autonomy to know it already:

A candidate possessing many talents has the choice to walk away, especially if the interview and the following steps leave them with a bitter taste.

Our gratitude for such altruism notwithstanding, as has become our wont in several recent posts, and since it’s seems to be increasingly likely that brain-death actually has afflicted as much of the adult population as it appears to have, we offer here 10 more reasons any of us should feel okay walking away from a job offer:

  1. The first question on the employment questionnaire is: Have you ever suffered a fatal injury?
  2. Along with your pre-employment drug screening, you’re asked to give a DNA sample.
  3. The company’s Recreation Director asks if you’re willing to be the goalie for the company’s dart team.
  4. You notice all the people in Human Resources are wearing hazmat suits.
  5. When you ask to see the the break room, they take you to the orthopedic ward at the local hospital.
  6. The company’s policies and procedures manual says Naked Fridays are mandatory.
  7. So is life insurance, with the company required to be named as the sole beneficiary.
  8. They ask if you’ve taken OSHA-compliant CPR training through the Red Cross or any other organization.
  9. You’re required to certify that you don’t now suffer, nor have you ever suffered, from any of the 10 most common phobias.
  10. The last question on the employment questionnaire is: How do you hope to identify in five years?

If you need help determining if a job offer is hinky, call 1-800-GTFO. Operators are standing by.