Apparently presuming we’ve never been gainfully employed before now, the ink may not yet have dried on our birth certificates, or we still might be a tad disoriented from our tumble off the turnip truck, Recruitment Grapevine saw fit to contribute to the deterioration of our savvy, our maturity, our self-reliance, and our powers of cognition by posting this: “10 reasons a candidate should walk away from a job offer“. And presuming we’re the dim-witted nincompoops for which the piece was written, it’s magnanimous enough to tell us this, as if we didn’t have sense enough of our independent autonomy to know it already:
A candidate possessing many talents has the choice to walk away, especially if the interview and the following steps leave them with a bitter taste.
Our gratitude for such altruism notwithstanding, as has become our wont in several recent posts, and since it’s seems to be increasingly likely that brain-death actually has afflicted as much of the adult population as it appears to have, we offer here 10 more reasons any of us should feel okay walking away from a job offer:
- The first question on the employment questionnaire is: Have you ever suffered a fatal injury?
- Along with your pre-employment drug screening, you’re asked to give a DNA sample.
- The company’s Recreation Director asks if you’re willing to be the goalie for the company’s dart team.
- You notice all the people in Human Resources are wearing hazmat suits.
- When you ask to see the the break room, they take you to the orthopedic ward at the local hospital.
- The company’s policies and procedures manual says Naked Fridays are mandatory.
- So is life insurance, with the company required to be named as the sole beneficiary.
- They ask if you’ve taken OSHA-compliant CPR training through the Red Cross or any other organization.
- You’re required to certify that you don’t now suffer, nor have you ever suffered, from any of the 10 most common phobias.
- The last question on the employment questionnaire is: How do you hope to identify in five years?
If you need help determining if a job offer is hinky, call 1-800-GTFO. Operators are standing by.